Character as a Chisel
The idea of character as a chisel has had a profound implication on my life. It’s often when I end up doing something that I shouldn’t have done and when I recognize how deeply flawed and human I am that I have to remind myself — character is not something that is formed overnight. It is something that you have to work for every single day. When do you get to stop? That’s the tough part, isn’t it?
Now, you’re most probably already aware of what character as a chisel implies but I want to share what I’ve made of it. I’m reminded of the sculpture that Michelangelo developed out of nothing but a huge piece of rock. When asked how he was able to do it, this is what he said:
“The sculpture is already complete within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”
Here’s an image that I had as my screen wallpaper a few years ago:
What I think Michelangelo was implying and I believe the author of this image is trying to convey is that every single day, we get to decide. We get to choose as to who we will become. We make choices, and our choices determine who we are.
Aristotle said that you become a just person by practicing being just. Similarly, to develop a strong character, I have to consistently guard against the things that have the potential to harm it. For me, it has often been lust that has gotten in my way of developing a strong character. I used to think to myself — why? Why do I do the things that I know I shouldn’t do? Why am I not better at this? Why am I willing to do something I know is only temporarily pleasing but will make me feel a lack of confidence in myself in the long run? I do not know. There are many things we don’t know — I will leave it at that.
Daniel Klein in his book ‘Every Time I Find the Meaning of Life, They Change It’ recommended that I consider the long-term consequences of my decision. Yes, the sex will be pleasurable in the short run but will it be worth breaking your partner’s trust that you’ve taken so long to develop? I see where he’s going with this. There are some things much more valuable than lust — in moments of clarity, I’m often able to recognize that. But only in moments of clarity…
So do I leave it at that? That I’m a flawed human being and perhaps not the only one who’s facing this conundrum. Many a soul before me have faced this and ruined their existence, and many a soul will after. Or do I strive to refine my character despite my shortfalls? I am inclined to think the latter. Because if ‘everything affects everything else’, the way I behave and conduct myself shapes my opinion of myself and that in turn influences the way I communicate with others and the things I set out to achieve. I could fake it — since that’s the thing with character, you’re the only one in the crowd. But I’m not sure whether that’s a viable strategy.
Therefore, I persist knowing fully well and accepting the harsh reality that only I am responsible for the choices that I make. I’m tempted to add a play of words from Mark Manson’s book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck’:
‘With great responsibility comes great power.’
It scares me. I’m human, all too human. No wonder it’s easy to shrug responsibility — after all, if we’re not in control, then we’re not responsible if something goes wrong. I can relate to that. I would have criticized it had I not known myself how gullible I can be to that line of thinking.
For now, I will stand by my desire to see what I can become. Therefore, I must strive to become better day by day, in every arena of my life. I do not know what influence I can have or who might be looking up to me at any point in time. I can control only my decisions and my behavior. I do not want my children to have a father with a flawed character.
